October 5, 2010

Sometimes I wonder why people go through certain things and I wonder why there had to be so much pain involved in another person’s life and not much in anothers. But when it comes down to it it’s all about sin and forgiveness and grace. The circumstances are but 1% of what really matters in life.  There are so many people out there who are hurting who are in need of Jesus. Sometimes I even think to myself maybe I just don’t want to be faced with the reality of my sin because I am afraid to find that grace really wasn’t offered to me. Why is that so hard for me to accept?  I am forgiven and free and I am no longer bound by sin.  Almost like we spend too much time wallowing in our pride and self-condemnation. Rather I want to turn my focus on the bridegroom and allow my heart to delight in Him.   Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

October 4, 2010

I love Fall....October is pretty much one of the best months of the year. The chillyness starts to pick up and you get the light breeze all the time outside...great stuff :D Not to mention you get candy at the end of the year too! I get excited about alot of things in life and the more I want to press in on what it means to know Him more the more I press into His rest. God gave me this life to enjoy.  I spent to much time worrying about little things worrying about my problems and stupid things that probably aren't really going to matter when I die and spend eternity with Him.. Amen?!? I'm sure we could all say that. God has shown me alot about myself during these past few months. One of them is where I put my self-worth. I've always had this issue with guys...as I'm sure alot of girls do! But guys to me over the years have just really caused me to have this bitter heart. Bitter at what they did bitter at myself and bitter towards life. Almost like I was barely trying to make it through because of all the dead weight I was carrying around from my past. We were so not made to carry it by ourselves. It's like I hear this over and over again and I know my Father in Heaven doesn't want to see me sad and hurt, but don't you ever feel at times like it seems impossible to do it? I realized that by me spending all my time hating on what they did in the past. I had no time to live with what I had now. Life is really really short and the more I taste freedom the more I wish I could've learned this when I had the chance to say no to every hurtful thought towards another person. We don't have time to waste this life is such a gift and there are so many fun things so many blessings and plans the Lord has for us it's almost strange to think that I would rather hold on to what someone did to me in past then let go and allow myself to live life. God has been healing me by showing me more of who I am in Him. It's been really hard for me not to get back into that self hate mode. I've been learning about repentance too. Pastor Beau was preaching this past Sunday on Submission to God and he was like..."you either repent and believe or you don't." I think Satan is always trying to trip us up by getting us to think there's some middle ground or gray area. It's a sobering thought for me to realize that I am either growing in the Lord in His Word or I am coasting and backsliding.  1 Corinthians 16:3 "Be on your guard,stand firm in the faith, be men of courage be strong" I'm also learning that I always need to be in the scriptures or it's pretty much game over for me! His Words provide healing to my hurting heart and they offer a firm ground for me to stand on. Thanks for reading this blog!

September 14, 2010

Live hardcore for Jesus or your being fake. the end. There's too many things in my life that have happened to me where I can't say that Jesus hasn't been there for me and why shouldn't the world know the best thing that has happened to any believer? I'm over the lukewarmness..and I'm speaking for my life...but indeed I am still learning how to forgive and bless those who curse me until the day I die I guess I just have to live with the fact that I am not perfect and Jesus is and that's exactly how He would want me to live I think....walk in the forgiveness...

September 13, 2010

Wow we’re already in September….time flies haha Yeah I’m getting really bad about these blogs  I’m not doing them enough but God is still doing so much despite my laziness..or could I say my business with other things? Hmmm I don’t know but anyway, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the psalms  and they’re great for when your feeling low…I love how in a lot of them it says His statutes are my joy and my heritage and I meditate on your decrees. I was reading that and I was like..hmmm so basically I need to soak in these and not just psalms but in the Word…in life we’re always going through stuff bad and good and the more we think on things that are pure and lovely and perfect without flaw…(that’s what His Word is haha) we shall grow and become like them. Pastor Mark is always mentioning in his sermons about how we need to watch out for stinkin thinking lol I think I do a lot of that. Another point God has always been bringing across to me is the fact that I am always in the Word always learning more and more but not really doing and I think everyone can relate to this and I’m like God do this in my life or God do that and He has such a sense of humor always bringing the most practical things in our lives to help us out…I guess I’m speaking to the girls well most on how over analytical and complicated we can be I mean other times we can be simple but I know for me I’m always one extreme I need balance! But thank God for His Holy Spirit who can help us in our weakness. I’m always in awe of how God can work through all of this mess in me though I mean really I feel like so many times my flesh can get in the way with just controlling and always wanting to be Lord over part of my life or another but it says that He who began a good work will finish! So that’s really good….but always always always He reminds me relax and remember to enjoy life because Jesus came that I might HAVE life….

He’s so enormous and powerful and often times I think I try to put God in a box, but it’s by His  grace that He even allows us to have a healthy fear of Him during seasons…like having this fear of Him is always for my benefit…oh how we do have a selfless God. Anyways I’m rambling … trust and enjoy life peoples God’s good..

August 26, 2010

Share Jesus with people it seriously helps build your faith!!! I can't begin to describe just the spiritual high you get when do as well...ahh good stuff. Something I have realized is that God will normally put someone  for you to witness you that challenges your walk...well at least for me that's always how it's been and it really teaches you something about yourself and your relationship with the Lord...look out for divine appointments!! go Jesus :)

August 23,2010

I'm just gonna start off by saying how good God is He deserves it all...not to mention He's definitely patient with us lol! But anyways this is what's been roamin through my mind through the past several days..I feel like God is always grabbing us deeper and deeper in the waters of His love for us. It’s like We pray and we say we want to go deeper with Him, but He searches the inner parts of us and He sees what’s really there and chips away what doesn’t need to be there and so forth.  It’s like “my bride I know there are still areas in your life that you haven’t surrendered completely to me, but I love you all the way anyway and my Son went through it all so you didn’t have to fall short of me and with my power I can take away this dead weight.” This is what goes on through my mind as I think about that and I am also beginning to realize how much of an importance it is that we need to be ALL in the Word. Soaking it in and breathing it in and trusting in THOSE words only THAT'S the only thing we need to be putting all of ourselves into.  Jesus is the way and the truth and the life and whomever the Son sets free is free indeed. Praise God that we have this divine opportunity to even share in His plan and experience the power of His Word the power of His being in just how He does all things for His glory even in how He is molding us. Isn’t God good? Yeah that’s all I have to say about that!

August 19,2010

August 19, 2010

It’s been awhile since my last blog… but anyways I feel like each time I begin one of these things I can’t really put my finger on how I could even begin to describe how God works, because I can’t He’s so infinitely huge. I have been realizing more and more just how small I am and how big He is and I don’t just mean that in the obvious sense but just that His ways are not my ways. I want God’s wisdom and more of it everyday and if that means becoming a fool in the world’s eyes so be it. He shines light on so many sins each day I am thankful more and more how graceful He really is. I’ve been in the book of John recently and it was interesting to see how Jesus treated the people surrounding Him up until the point of His crucifixion. The world did not know Him and treated Him the way they did. It brings comfort to me as well to know that I don’t belong to the world because if I did the world would love me as it’s own. It’s really neat to think about how the bible can apply to our everyday lives as well. But God is HUGE I am itty bitty…that’s it… become a fool for Him <3

August 4, 2010

Wow my third blog and I already missed a day lol...yeah sigh just been one of those days... I've been thinking alot about faith. Not just faith in the Lord but faith in general..like how we put our faith in alot of things. I guess it can be in a million things..but one of the things I guess God's been showing some light on is how much I put my faith in my feelings...which really can suck in those dry seasons when He withdraws Himself I mean it is good becuase He wants to grow us but at the same time it can be really difficult. I've been feeling alot like how Jacob wrestled with God...I mean not like physically wrestling obviously but in the heart so many things I wish were not in my heart anymore it's like you wish you could move on from something or you wish you could just totally be freed from this stronghold in your life. It's like I get so overwhelmed with all of this but then God is always telling me to have faith in Him and what He's capable of. It just really gets me sometimes like wow I still have very little faith in Him and what He tells me and He tells me that in Christ I am strong That it's not just the feelings that I can stand on His Word that is solid ground becuase I know and not just feel it. I bought somebody flowers today...sigh yeah I'm so nice...lol jk all glory goes to God! yeahh God is good and He knows what He's doing even when I dont know what to do with myself...
2 Corinthians 4:17 "For our affliction which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory."

August 2,2010

Blogs are such a good idea....anyways hello again! Second day hooray :)
I am getting hit big time with how powerful prayer really is. Today I woke up and I prayed and by the end of the day He totally answered alot of what I prayed for. I know this may happen more than I notice for sure, but it was like a real eye opener today. Prayer has never really come that natural to me so I honestly have not prayed as much as I'm sure He would want me to, but something I am starting to realize more and more is that by not praying it's like I'm saying to God  I can do it by myself which is totally not the truth! lol There has been so many tests in my life where it was way more than I could handle and it's like He's saying " I know I want you to lean on me." Him answering my prayer not only  helped me to have more faith in who He is but also showed me just how much I do things by myself  and how much more I need to rely soley on His grace in the relationship. 1 Peter 3:12 threw out " For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer." I'm glad that I am righteous by faith!
He's also been bringing up a girl I work with at Taco Bell alot and I am praying for an open door so I can share with her it would be really awesome if she recieves the good news, but what He wills is best. If you can pray for her as well that God speaks to her heart. I know powerful things can happen!

August 1, 2010

First Blog! Yes....it is good. Today has been just amazing from the start of waking up to the end of today's sunday service. God has been showing me so much recently. I love how you think you know God so well, but then He just does this thing where He frees you from one area of your life or He brings you to a new place in your life He is always faithful and I am so excited for what other surprises He has ...just to think that my life has only just begun..hehe and I don't just mean here on this earth. I was working the other day in Taco Bell and I was imagining myself running this mile...and I think it was actually a memory becuase I remember running in P.E in Highschool...oh boy that I'd rather forget hahaha but I running this mile and by the third lap I had started getting tired and weary and around the fourth lap I was just seriously lagging and I just about wanted to give up and I heard people calling to me and shouting and they were cheering me on and I was able to finish the race well and it was cool becuase it reminded me of the verse in 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 " Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." We are in a race for God and we need to train hard and get in the Word for the bumps and hard laps of this life.  Even when life gets us down we need to stick close to our brothers and sisters in Christ and unite and encourage during those times where it's difficult. I think we forget sometimes that we were not meant to do life alone and it's so easy to get in that isolated state of mind even.
Another thing God has been really teaching me is forgivness. It's like no matter where you are in your life no matter how many times you've been hurt, and no matter how many times you've forgiven, this lesson still seems new everytime to me! It's like God has been showing me...look "I know people have hurt you I know this has happened to you, but you have to leave it all behind and follow me and live this life in abundance. I didnt just die on the Cross for you to stay in the chains that you are keeping yourself in." It was so huge to me the revelation of God's forgiveness in my life the fact that I at one point was an enemy to Him but He chose to reconcile me and forgive and forget...it's like I CHOOSE to forget the sin it is as gone as far as the east is from the west. And becuase I have been freed from what I was I can choose to leave the hurt as His feet and I can trust Him to do life. Sure there will be future hurts and more people who haven't forgiven in their past will hurt me as well...but God called us to that Love others becuase He first loved us...it's been good and He's been helping me walk it out and walk in His freedom. John 10:10 " the theif comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they might have life and have it to the full." His freedom is worth it all...